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Wedding planning has turned an obsessive endeavor for many couples, so much so that they forget the main purpose of the wedding – to start a life together. It would be the greatest iron to allow the pressures of wedding planning to hurt your relationship.
Sadly, the realities of wedding planning include arguing over the wedding budget, not seeing eye-to-eye on the theme, debating who shouldn’t make it to the guest list, among other things.
Here are things you can do to avoid jeopardizing your relationship during the wedding planning.
As with most fights, conflicts start with misunderstanding. You aren’t expected to agree on everything all the time but there can’t be a compromise if you don’t understand each other.
Talk about your wedding budget as soon as you’ve regained your composure from your engagement euphoria. Set an overall budget and specific allocation for each part of the wedding. Your budget will decide everything (that, and your commitment to marry each other) – from food to venue to gowns to wedding date. Many relationships have failed because of money. Don’t let yours be one of them.
Share your expectations – of each other, with each other. Don’t be that person who grumbles about your partner not fulfilling his/her responsibilities, only for the other partner to claim that the responsibilities weren’t clearly divided! Let your partner know what wedding planning aspects you can handle. Give your partner a chance to choose too.
This is a wedding for two – don’t shoulder all the burden but don’t pass on all responsibilities to your other half.
Reward yourselves together with a no-wedding-matters date at least once a week, or after you’ve completed a wedding-related errand.
These date nights don’t need to be fancy, but you MUST NOT talk about anything related to the wedding. If you’re neck deep into the planning, talking about it may not be avoided so make a conscious effort to tap into your other interests. Or simply talk about the things you normally talk about prior to the engagement – hobbies, music, movies, etc.
It’s easy to spiral into the wedding planning abyss. Deliberately carve out time for a date night to keep the romance burning and reassure each other that you won’t be bridezillaor groomzillafor the rest of your lives.
You can’t be at 6 places in one time. Nor do you have 6 pairs of hands. Be transparent with your wedding planner if there’s too much going on with work, wedding planning, and other responsibilities.
Don’t be shy to ask your bridesmaids, groomsmen, family, and friends to help you with some of the wedding planning tasks. Do you have talented bridesmaids who can DIY centerpieces? How about a groomsman who has an ear for music and can man the DJ booth? Ask them for help!
The supplier for invitations didn’t deliver the number of invitations agreed upon. 2 weeks before your wedding but half of your bridesmaids still haven’t gotten their dresses. The venue overbooked and might have to bump you off.
Problems like these pop up, and it can happen to you. These are the external factors that can put a strain on your relationship if you’re not mindful of your reactions.
In situations like these, it’s better to react when you’ve calmed down already. Sit down with your partner and ask yourselves, “What components are important to us?” If the caterer suddenly can’t serve roast lamb at the wedding, look for other lamb dishes in their menu that are available. What’s important is that the guests are full and happy.
Adopt the same approach when dealing with family’s unreasonable complaints and requests for your wedding. You may not control what comes out of their mouth, but you can choose how to respond to the situation.
You’re throwing a reception to celebrate your new union, not as a venue for guests to criticize your suppliers. Otherwise, you could have just sent them to a wedding fair.
Don’t cave in to the pressure of throwing a wedding worthy of a magazine spread. Without a doubt, wedding planning is a stressful process but also remember that it is a great time to get to know each other as a couple. Enjoy this joint undertaking and get to know the side of your other half you may have not known yet!
